Aug 11, 2014

NYC - the city that stole my husband

I've been keeping something from you all. I'm pregnant! Just kidding, you already knew that. Another thing. I have been living alone all summer. I'm guessing you can understand why I wouldn't share that on the blog (or really any social media). But, let me back up.

From the Statue of Liberty looking back at Manhattan
My husband, Eric, started his MBA full-time last fall. It was definitely a big decision to make, but we both felt confident it was the right time and perfect opportunity (I work full-time, no kids, good scholarships, etc). So back to school he went. It was a crazy fall because he was still working for his previous company 20hrs a week (most people in the program didn't work) and we were both so busy. The spring semester was a little better, but we knew the summer would look a little different because each MBA student is expected to do an internship of some sort.

Eric's school has a summer scholarship program in a few different places, one of them being NYC. Students who get into the program are provided with housing, transportation and a stipend while working at an internship and taking 1-2 classes over the course of the summer.

We talked very seriously about what the summer would look like before Eric even applied... we knew it would be really tough (we both share a love language of "quality time") and we also knew it was possible that we would be expecting a baby by that point. Still, we both felt like the Lord was telling us that Eric should apply, and well, he got in.

So. He moved to NYC at the end of May. Actually, the NYC trip I shared about was when we both flew up to the city to get him settled in. Obviously, we did lots of fun NYC things, but what you didn't see was our little trip to IKEA to buy Eric bedding, plates, etc and me flying back to Oklahoma alone with tears in my eyes.

The first week was really hard, I think mostly because I did not make myself spend time with people and stay busy. After that initial week, it was a lot easier. I made lots of plans with friends, I did some craft projects, I took weekend trips, Winston and I went on a lot of walks... I just stayed busy. Actually, there were a few great things that came out of it:
  • I spent more time with my family than I usually would have during the summer. I live about 45min away from my family, so Eric and I usually visit them together. It was nice to revert back to childhood in a way and spend time hanging out with my siblings. 
  • I recognized friendship in a totally different way. I had friends reach out to me all summer - from everything to "let's hang out tonight," to a little birthday party, to just a text to ask how I was doing. I even had a friend drive down with her 2 month old baby to spend a whole weekend with me. I felt very loved and cared for by a lot of people.
  • I rediscovered "alone time." Some people hate being alone. I have never been one of them. But when you are married, alone time kind of becomes "spouse time." It was nice to have (forced) time to myself to pray, dream and think. That's just so important and it has been easy for me to skip it in the past. 
Eating a mac & cheese sampler at s'mac
So, some great things came of it, but it was really hard. I love Eric. So much. So being away from him for 12ish weeks wasn't overall an enjoyable thing. But if I had to do it over again, I would. Eric had a great experience in NYC (though he was SO READY to come home) and it was a lot of fun to visit him twice (the pictures in this post are when I visited him a second time in July). I never let myself get to a bad place where I felt mopey or sorry for myself. I mean, that would be ridiculous considering there are women out there who send their husbands to Afghanistan for a year and take care of their multiple children alone (those women are literally heroes). I just spent a measly summer away from husband. I prayed a lot against loneliness this summer, and the Lord was so faithful to me. I was also so thankful to have felt great throughout this pregnancy. I think if I had been at home puking while Eric had been gallivanting in NYC, that would have been rough.

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge
I alluded to my weird summer a couple of times on the blog (anyone notice a lot of tripod pictures? and when I mentioned not seeing fireworks - I was in NYC and we didn't want to hold a spot in the grass for 5hrs). But, I'm sure you can understand why I didn't want to advertise it on the blog.

The High Line Park.
I picked Eric up from the airport for good this past Saturday. To be honest, I haven't stopped smiling since (I'm smiling as I type this!). I almost didn't realize how much I missed him (almost), so him being home has been such a giddy feeling.

Absolutely amazing seeing the Phantom of the Opera in NYC.

I know that was long, so congratulations if you made it this far :) I wanted to share a little bit of my heart with you today. Thanks for reading!

30 comments:

  1. aw yay he is back! i couldn't imagine being away from my husband for 12 weeks now, but we did the whole long distance thing for almost 2 years and gosh darn it that sucked balls. but what an amazing opportunity for him, that is really great that he got to do it!

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  2. It looks like you had fun visiting him. I really miss Jeremy when he is gone but I agree some good comes out of it. And I try never let it slip on the internet world that he is gone. I also so get that alone time is spouse time.

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  3. Okay this is such interesting timing because I am debating applying to a job in NYC and Andrew would be back in KC! We've done long distance before but thought we would be over it!

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  4. That must have been tough! I always kind of enjoy the first night my husband is gone (I get to watch junk tv, order take out, have the entire bed to myself, etc.), but I get bored and lonely really quickly after that. I also get tired of solo animal duty (we have an energetic dog and three cats) pretty quickly, especially since my husband almost exclusively takes care of the early morning feedings. I can't imagine if we had a child! Luckily, he doesn't usually go away without me.

    Also, just wanted to give a shout out to the husbands out there who say goodbye to their wives who are deploying to Afghanistan and elsewhere :)

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  5. It's so hard to be away from your spouse! My husband had the opportunity to work for his company in Ireland for 18 months and due to our house and my job I couldn't go. But it really helped his role in the company and I got to visit him several times (with him coming home about once a month). It was hard, but I think it made us stronger! I am glad he's back now!

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  6. Glad you two are reunited!! My husband and I also hate being apart so I can relate. It sounds like you both had great summers and the timing was perfect for an adventure like this. I'm sure you're excited to get back into your familiar school year routines.

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  7. oh my goodness! That's crazy. I'm not sure I could do that. I always joke (but not really joking) with my husband that if he ever has to work onsite for more than a couple weeks, I would just go with him. My job is really flexible, so I can pretty much work from anywhere that has internet. 3 whole months would be rough. But yeah, then I think about all those military wives and I have no idea how they do it!

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  8. What a great opportunity for your husband! It must have been hard but it sounds like you got lots of extra quality time with family and friends which is good to get in before the baby arrives! Loved seeing your NYC pics!

    Jill
    dousedinpink.blogspot.com

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  9. Don't blame you one bit for not sharing that at the time! I'm glad you get to be back together, long distance is hard enough, and I can't imagine with a baby on the way!

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  10. I bet you are so glad that he's home!!! That sounds like it was a great opportunity for him!

    xo,
    Angela

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  11. wow, I can't believe your pregnant!!! congrats congrats congrats!!! Also good luck to your hubby and you! Sounds like an amazing adventure for the family
    xo Jessica
    www.NewlyLoved.com

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  12. Glad you survived your time apart. I'm sure it was so tough, but it was a great thing he did it before kiddos arrive! I really enjoy my alone time. You get even less of it when kids come in the picture!

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  13. how wonderful that the Lord was faithful to both of you during your time away from each other! 12 weeks is pretty long, especially being prego but happy you and your hubby got through it! <3
    xoxo,miriam

    www.simplyxclassic.com

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  14. Holy cow! Really proud of you all. This is a big decision in marriage and definitely a hard one. Proud of you all for following the Lord's leading and getting through it. Hope you can soak up some good time together now that he is home!

    xo, Amy Ann
    The Real Arnolds

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  15. SO brave. I don't know what I would have done. I would be a puddle of tears the whole time, that's what I would have done. Good for you for making the most of it! And God is so faithful isn't He? He's just the best. Thanks so much for sharing this!

    Alysia Ave

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  16. Seriously jealous your husband spent the summer in NYC. Also, super impressed that you allowed him to go alone. I totally would have pitched a FIT to go too. So glad he is home now!

    Nikki
    thefashionablewife.com

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  17. I can certainly understand not wanting to share that information until now! I'm like you in that I do actually enjoy my alone time, but I think I get what you mean about alone time becoming "spouse time". For me, my introvert self needs that time away to recharge, but time with just my husband does the trick as much as time by myself would've. But anyway, so glad your husband got a chance for such an amazing experience and that he's back home now! I'm guessing it'll be awhile before you get that huge smile to leave your face. :)

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  18. What a great couple!
    :)
    Dawn Lucy
    http://fashionshouldbefun.blogspot.com

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  19. What an amazing opportunity for you both. :) I am so thankful for each adventure life brings us, even the ones that mean great sacrifice! Thank you for sharing!

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  20. I totally get not sharing on the blog. I'm glad he's back! That is a long time to be away. Jordan and I do NOT do well at communicating when we are apart, so I can only imagine.

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  21. I don't blame you for keeping this information a secret on the blog. You can't ever be too careful!

    It must have been such a hard summer to be away, and it sounds like it's just been a super crazy time for you both

    xo Jackie
    Something About That

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  22. Oh my gosh!! A whole summer apart after just finding out you were pregnant?? That must have been tough! I'm glad you haven't been sick or anything. It sounds like you have a great support system and tons of people who care about you! I can totally understand why you wouldn't share that. It's a good reminder to be careful what you post. I read somewhere or heard on the news about people getting robbed while on vacation because they're all posting pictures from their trip so others know they're gone and usually for how long. Good call! On a better note, I'm so glad to hear you finally have your husband back by your side to share all new pregnancy firsts and watch your belly grow like we have!

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  23. Wow, what a summer! That must have been so tough, but a great opportunity for Eric! I'm so glad you guys are back in the same place now so you can enjoy prepping for the baby together!

    Nicole
    Nicole to the Nines

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  24. so sweet! I've been "longdistancingit" for about three years, so I have a tiny idea of how you must have felt but I'm sure it was much different actually being married and having your husband away while you're pregnant! I'm glad he's home now to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy with you. It's a shame I wasn't really expecting that. For some reason I thought you were gonna say you were both moving to new york! I thought wow, a big move would be crazy in the middle of a pregnancy! haha

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  25. I really enjoyed reading the entire post, probably because I can definitely relate to it since I was in a 2 year long-distance relationship as well. It's really tough but I feel like it makes you appreciate more the time you spend together :)

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  26. yay for pushing through, both of you! it's never easy being apart from loved ones (especially when preggers!), but time goes by faster than we think! already having had kids, i think i'd LOVE time alone, lol!

    [oomph.]
    $300 Sephora GIVEAWAY

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  27. Oh wow. That is tough. I am so glad he is home now. Did you get a moment to reread any Harry Potter books. I bet this made your marriage so much stronger. I completely understand not sharing that he was gone. So smart! A reason I never post our schedule or my children's names or faces. You just never know. So happy for you!

    Jenni

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  28. Ashley, congrats on being pregnant! Also, glad you got through the summer. I always enjoy reading your blog and seeing what you're up to. :)

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  29. Girlfriend, no one understands you better here than myself. I started out my relationship with my husband as a long-distance one, he was in Albania Europe and I was in Michigan USA. Those were the first 3 years, where I'd fly out twice a year to see him,. It was difficult and very very expensive. Then back in 2010, we were 'separated' yet again as he moved to Europe a year earlier than me to get us started there, find a job, a home, etc. So I get you. Thanks so much for sharing this with your readers and E-Mail me if you need to. I am glad you got to spend time with family and friends on the meanwhile. =)))

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  30. Oh my goodness, I just saw your reference to this in your recent post. Wow, girl! I can't imagine how difficult that must have been to be apart for three months. I have a hard time with Christopher being gone for a couple of days for a work trip, haha! But I know what you mean about it being what was best for you guys over all. I'm glad he's back home now, though (and has been for a while I guess, haha)! :)

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